Sister

It has felt inadequate for me to say, when asked what's been going on in my life, merely that I had a friend that died. Even relating that Midi was my best friend doesn't seem to cover it either. "Best friend" sounds like two little girls playing on the swings and sharing secrets to me. Midi was so much more to me than simply a close friend or confidant.

In a casual conversation or with someone I don't know as well, the best I way I can describe the unique nature of my friendship with her is to relate that we had talked about raising each other's children should anything have happened to either of us, in essence to act as family to each other. But probably the most apt analogy I've found comes out of the story of Jonathan and David in I Samuel.

I've always found that story a bit odd. There's no real build-up or backstory to their friendship; they all of a sudden have their souls "bound" to one another. We don't see anything that they really do together; what's related in scripture about their conversations is almost all to do with David trying to escape Jonathan's father Saul trying to kill him. But I resonate with the story deeply. Like Jonathan, I too felt that my soul was bound to Midi's and that I loved (love) her as much as I do myself. Like the two of them, it was the Lord that was between the two of us, why we were friends. While we enjoyed doing things together, even frivolous things like shopping or going to spas, the basis of our friendship really was helping each other follow Jesus, nurturing our souls and our relationships with God.

At a gathering last week of some of Midi's friends, a mutual friend Andrea who has a similarly deep friendship shared how she and Midi had talked about how blessed they were to have friends that were as close as a sister to them, Andrea with her friend Gaby and Midi with me. It meant a lot to me. Partly just to have someone else recognize and relate with how I'm feeling about losing Midi. Partly to hear again via Andrea how Midi felt about me. And to affirm the part of my soul that, like Jonathan, continues to say to Midi, "The Lord shall be between me and you, between my descendents and your descendents forever." Societal conventions may not allow me to say that my sister died on January 1st, but that's what happened.