Missing Midi

This last week or so has been particularly hard. Circumstances have been difficult: David has been either working late or not home much of the last week, I've been working hard to finish up a number of tasks before my sabbatical, and there have been a number of ongoing "frustrations", such as contacts that were promised to arrive but never did. I'm not sure if being on my own so much with the kids is more of a cause or an effect, but both the isolation and fatigure/stress of being more a single parent for the week have certainly played into me not doing as well.

In the midst of all of that, I definitely have been grieving more. Often when things had been busier for David, I would make a point of setting up a "girls night out" with Midi soon after. So under normal circumstances, she and I would have been meeting up sometime this week to catch up with each other. The week before the accident, we went out to dinner and saw "Juno" together, and it was such a fun night. Being with her like that, especially in the midst of our busy lives and all of the other relationships and responsibilities we had, was always such a joy for me. I miss her companionship, how known I was by her and how well I knew her, her care for me, being with each other in the momentous things, like how her adoption process was going (Mark and Midi were going to adopt a girl from Korea in the next year), to the little things, like enjoying a movie together or finding great clothes on sale for the kids.

I'm sure I will go out with other girl friends to see a movie or catch up with each other over a meal. But there are some things that will never be the same. There are so many tangibles and intangibles that are noticeably gone from my life now without Midi in it.